Life on Planet Cat

Life on Planet Cat means. . .

1. The food that was scarfed down yesterday might produce an upturned nose today, and you'll have to try again tomorrow. (The Cat)

2. The same goes for Pill Pockets. Which really sucks because it forces you to use liquid meds and hope it's a "Dinner is yummy!" night. (The Cat)

3. The brand new faux-mink blanket your friends gave you for Christmas is scary to a certain household member. (The "Baby" cat at my parents' house)
He's in feline special education; it took him ten years to learn how to do kitty things
like chase a shoelace and let people scratch his chin.

4. Part of settling down for the night requires that your chest gets walked across several times before the feline form is wedged between you and the edge of the bed closest to the door. (The Cat)

5. The Christmas tree is not a decoration.  It is something to lie under, attack and swat off fragile shiny things, and occasionally taste. (Pretty much any cat)



Sara said…
Your life on Planet Cat seems almost tame compared to my life on Planet Cat. But, my planet has an overpopulation problem...

1. The prescription food gives you pangs of guilt not only because the denizens don't find it all that yummy and it's a low quality food (Science Diet), but because it is for only two of the cats' problems. In fact, it is completely wrong for one of the cats, and will worsen his problems, but he also has shoddy kidneys (the reason for the food) so there you go. Even the cats who don't have problems are on it, leading to more guilt.

2. Anything that is on a horizontal surface will be thrown up on. This includes the bed, which is thrown up on several times a week.

3. Fat cats who constantly roll on their backs to air out their ample tummies don't appreciate raspberries blown on said tummies. Cats are teases.

4. There shall be no Christmas trees, ever, as they shall be licked and eaten until the bipeds go crazy from the constant licking sound.

5. Did you like that? Is that why you put it on the table? Well, it looks far better on the floor... especially phone handsets.

6. Fat cat, who loves to knead on mommy's neck and shoulder's, much to mommy's chagrin, refuses to knead daddy's neck and shoulders, much to daddy's dismay. Cats are mean teases.
Anonymous said…
Ha! Christmas sounds like a pretty traumatic experience for cats!
Sara said…
Egads. I used an apostrophe in a pluralization. Pardon me while I go out back to self flagellate.
Kate P said…
I can't believe I missed responding to these comments!

Sara--hahaha! Yeah, what is that "Must swat off the table" compulsion???

Angela--Well, they don't like the setting up part, they don't like strangers in the house. . . but they are fond of Christmas ham and getting to sleep under the Christmas tree. I guess it's a draw.

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