Long Days and Nights

So after much debate, I wound up not going to NJ for the funeral mass.  My parents left at 6:00 AM and made good time.  I, on the other hand, went to a local parish's daily mass (so I could at least feel I did something) and then on to my blood test appointment--at which the technician (the same one who asked me last Tuesday "Weren't you just here yesterday?" "YES I WAS DAMMIT AND I AM HERE TODAY, THURSDAY, SATURDAY AND NEXT MONDAY") joined me in celebrating my final test.  Really hoping my doc will get in touch with me soon about all the results.

In a way, it worked out because I was home for FedEx to bring me my replacement credit card and I had time to be on hold for nearly a half-hour to sign up for the free credit monitoring offered by the hotel whose system had allowed my card to be stolen.  Of course, I fell asleep while on hold but I blame The Cat for curling up on my lap and purring so darn soothingly.

Once I was all signed up, I took some laundry over to my parents' and fed/checked on the orange cat, aka Calamity Jane.  She's been out of sorts, not eating much, and didn't really roll in my laundry as usual but at least gave it the once-over.  But then she was very pleased when an hour after my arrival Younger Sister (her true rescuer from all those years ago) walked in the front door.  It was kind of nice that we had the house to ourselves and got to catch up a bit.  (My future BIL was at home recovering from an unfortunately-timed minor surgery.)  And then not long after, we both got a text from Older Brother saying he was able to find a flight out of Cape Cod (he & my SIL had extended their visit with the in-laws another week so of course he was doing a whirlwind solo appearance--not one word of sympathy or condolences from anyone up there, interestingly).

Yesterday was the burial down here in Philly.  I had a dress I'd just gotten on sale which worked out well but I needed a sweater to cover my lily-white upper arms.  In spite of the fact that it was already getting hot outside at 10AM.  While I was debating, The Cat was still doing her "I need attention!" shtick and I was on the verge of losing it because all I wanted was to get out the door to pick up Chef on time on the way to the cemetery.  So at the last minute, I threw down the black acrylic shrug and picked up my lilac cotton cardigan.

Didn't Chef walk out his door in a purple button-down?  (My favorite on him BTW but he didn't know that until I told him in the car.)  So naturally we got compliments from the family on our unintentional fashion coordination later.

And I can't even put into words how grateful I was that he was there for me.

Not to mention many of my mom's friends as well, people who have known me since I was a little kid.  It was truly touching.  I "teared up" on and off, but really I did most of my crying two months ago when I found out Pop-Pop wasn't doing well.  I cried a little more this morning because (A) it was 6AM and I couldn't sleep--I've been sleeping poorly the past few days thanks to a number of factors--and (B) sometimes the worst part of losing a loved one is how it makes you think of other loved ones you lost and miss very much.  The last time I buried a grandparent was over 25 years ago, my other Pop-Pop [corrected because I originally said my Mom-Mom, who died 2 years before him (buried a lot of people during high school). I miss her and still talk to her sometimes.] 

There was a luncheon at the catering hall down the road--I wasn't really hungry but more thirsty between the heat and the semi-crying--so Chef kept me stocked with Coke, and we all pooled our leftover chicken to take home (The Cat will get some today if she behaves).  My Maiden Aunt wanted to take photos, a little weird but all the siblings were together, so I helped out and took shots with one of my other aunts' cell phone. Somehow my uncle got it in his head that Chef should be in the one shot with the "outlaws" as we affectionally call the S.O.'s of our kin (wrong generation, Uncle B) but I guess that means they all like Chef an awful lot.  

I like him a lot, too.  (Truly, I love him.)  And bless his heart, he had to go in to work after that.  If I think too long about how wonderful he's been during all this--and how much I miss him because starting his new job demands so much of his time--I'll start crying.

I probably have at least one more "good cry" left to do and I'm guessing it'll be tomorrow morning when I meet up with a close friend.

And then maybe I can move on to working on the upcoming bridal shower.

One thing Younger Sister did to take advantage of being here for a visit was talk about the music for the reception so that was kind of fun to sit around talking about at our parents' with Uncle B and his girlfriend, the bandleader. (That'll be up on the wedding blog pretty soon.)

Yeah, it was a long day.



ccr in MA said…
I'm so glad the Chef was able to be there for you. Those kind of days need help to get through. Hang in there.
Kate P said…
I'm doing, O.K., CCR. Every day is a little bit better. The nice things people are saying about Pop-Pop keep coming in and it's a real comfort and so touching to hear.

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