Somewhat of an Appreciative Maiden Moment
This afternoon, I met up with a couple of former co-workers (from the job I quit to student teach, although they both had been let go post-merger before then) to go see The Unknown. (My impression: It was O.K. but seemed at times to be ripping off Vanilla Sky--ugh--and The Manchurian Candidate, if that's possible to do in the same movie. It was based on a novel that I'm fairly certain was written in another country.) Afterwards, we had dinner at a local diner and had our girl talk. We promised to do our movie/dinner thing again soon, and then we parted ways.
By some bizarre cosmic timing, I had to go pick up a book from the bookstore--I made the reservation for the one near the movies--went upstairs to nose around the YA books, helped a dad and his daughter looking for the Warriors series (yes, I introduced myself as a librarian so I wasn't some nosy stranger)--and then as I'm coming down the escalator to go to the register to get the book, The Ex walks by downstairs. And of course looks up--then keeps walking (thankfully). There's probably very little chance he didn't recognize me, even though I had my hair straightened and my "church makeup" on.
I don't know where his wife was, but. . . weird. I still don't want to be in the same room with him (and I noticed his car was heading out of the parking lot as I was just walking out of the store), but it's more like just a huge, huge relief that I don't have to put up with him and his hang-ups for the rest of my life. I know there's better.
Am I sad I don't have that "better" in my life right now? Am I frustrated that for whatever reason I don't know where "better" is? Sure, but I think there's still a tiny part of me that needed to grow up. Still some things I need to experience, some things I need to do to get myself in order. Like all the lovely apartment-cleaning I'm doing this weekend. I'm getting there.
But jeez, out of all the bookstores in the area and all the times of day--what are the freaking odds?
By some bizarre cosmic timing, I had to go pick up a book from the bookstore--I made the reservation for the one near the movies--went upstairs to nose around the YA books, helped a dad and his daughter looking for the Warriors series (yes, I introduced myself as a librarian so I wasn't some nosy stranger)--and then as I'm coming down the escalator to go to the register to get the book, The Ex walks by downstairs. And of course looks up--then keeps walking (thankfully). There's probably very little chance he didn't recognize me, even though I had my hair straightened and my "church makeup" on.
I don't know where his wife was, but. . . weird. I still don't want to be in the same room with him (and I noticed his car was heading out of the parking lot as I was just walking out of the store), but it's more like just a huge, huge relief that I don't have to put up with him and his hang-ups for the rest of my life. I know there's better.
Am I sad I don't have that "better" in my life right now? Am I frustrated that for whatever reason I don't know where "better" is? Sure, but I think there's still a tiny part of me that needed to grow up. Still some things I need to experience, some things I need to do to get myself in order. Like all the lovely apartment-cleaning I'm doing this weekend. I'm getting there.
But jeez, out of all the bookstores in the area and all the times of day--what are the freaking odds?
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