On Giving Up, Giving In--A Little


After a discussion earlier today, I got to thinking about how much energy it takes to fight against something.  And how tired I am of fighting to make my job situation better.  I got word yesterday that due to changes at my church, I won't have as many opportunities to sing there, which takes away a little bit of income but more upsettingly a regular place for me to go sing and worship.  So that's a bummer.

There's also stuff going on with my extended family that is no fun at all.  It's hard not to think about it when people you care about are stressed.

Also, it's that time of year and I am walking into a similar yet dramatically changed situation.  I feel nervous and there's also a part of me that still holds some resentment that the career I was promised back in 2006 has yet to match up with my reality.

I haven't given up my dreams.  I will never give up on my dreams.

But I think for now, I need to give in a bit.  Try to make the best of a challenging situation that at times will be really uncomfortable and probably frustrating.

Maybe some of the energy I save by not fighting will go towards some fun things to come.  I just have to keep hoping there are things like that to come in the future.

And maybe a little positive self-talk will keep me on the right path.  
Say it with me, everyone:


 

Comments

ccr in MA said…
You can do it! You CAN do it! And it will get better.
Sara said…
I can't see the video as it's blocked at work, but at times like this I just square my shoulders, raise my chin, and decide that it's time to make lemonade.

Let me know if you need to borrow any sugar to go with the lemons you're being dealt.

Hang in there.
Annie Coe said…
Kate, I too am having family stress. What I do is try to stay in the moment because that is the place to focus. If I can do something to help in that moment I do If I can't I give it up and let it go.
Life is full of ups and downs, we have to go with the flow.
Hugs.
xoxo
Angela Noelle said…
I'm so sorry that life is so discouraging right now :/ The job market is just so awful right now, and it's a shame that brilliant, organized, sharp people like you are suffering because of it. I really hope that things turn around eventually--they've just got to!
Solitary Diner said…
I was going to try to give you some wise advice, but then I realized that I'm investing a huge amount of my own energy into fighting my reality at the moment. I'm fighting how busy work is, I'm fighting the fact that I may need to give up my vacation to interview for fellowship positions, I'm fighting the fact that my future career isn't going to be exactly how I envisioned it. I think your post may have been exactly what I needed to read at this moment, as it's a reminder for me to put less energy into fighting things that I can't change and more energy into making the best of my situation.
Kate P said…
CCR--Thanks for the boost. :)

Sara--You probably don't need the video if I tell you it's Stuart Smalley's famous "affirmation." ;)
I do believe it is time for lemonade, so thanks for the offer!

Annie--Good point. I am telling myself to take things a day at a time. But it's so hard when my mind is jumping all over the place.

Angela--Thank you for the kind words; I am flattered you think I am organized!

S.D.--We should start a club! (A support group?)
Solitary Diner said…
Isn't blogging sort of an unofficial support group?
Dave E. said…
There's nothing wrong with stepping back for awhile and letting things just percolate. If that feels right then I say go with it. I know that I've had times when the harder I focused on some goal, the less real progress I made.
Kate P said…
S.D.--Works for me! :)

Dave--"Percolate," I like that word. Well, I'm going to try shifting my focus, and I guess we'll see where things end up.
Slauditory said…
Maybe there are other paid singing opportunities around! You should investigate. I know there are chorales around--see if you can join one.

I hope you get whatever it is that you want!
LibraryElf said…
I can hear the snippet of a song because it reminds me of the title...that might bug me a little.

You seemed in good spirits today!

I'm hoping someday soon (or in my lifetime) that things change and it isn't so bad. Until then, we control what we can and let go of what we can't, I guess.
Kate P said…
Slauditory--Thanks. I actually have been invited to join a couple of choirs this past year, but I swear all the practices are on Tuesdays. And Tuesdays are sacred Trivia Nights. What really bums me out is this means no Christmas at this church. Sucks.

LibElf--Yup, I am just refusing to give in to the hysteria/rage/anxiety/what-have-you, and the training answered a lot of questions I had. Plus I got the sense a number of teachers are on board and already are thinking about what we can do, so that helps me tons.
My mom always says things can turn on a dime. You just never know. And someone else I knew liked to say, "This too shall pass."

I have to say, it was really nice to walk into the library and be GREETED ENTHUSIASTICALLY by the happy Circ people! They like me, they really like me, I can't have screwed up too badly last time I worked. ;)

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