3/11/2008

Attack of MY Maiden Aunt

My mom's baby sister. She's 50, partied hard in the '70s and '80s and majored in music, never married, has a boyfriend but I'm not sure one man is enough for her. Apparently she was so excited to tell me the following that after she e-mailed it to my personal address, she forwarded it to my work account. Just what I needed to see this morning. All typos are hers:


You know, Katie, I went to [Local Irish Pub] by myself on Saturday night. A U2 cover band was playing. Mixed crowd, nice crowd, lots of 30somethings. Danced most of the night with a 36 year old guy, Irish/Italian Catholic (he thought I was 42 -- I did not correct [Auntie is having a hard time being 50]), Is Associate Athletic Director at [Area Institute of Higher Education]. I was fascinated because he is high school buddies with [Famous Local Director] and I've been trying to get information to work for his company for over a year now. Anyway, this guy [name redacted] was fun, darling, Catholic without being wierd male Cathollic. They are out there, and he was just one of the nice, nice guys I met on Saturday night. Funny, a single guy goes to a bar and men and women talk to him. A single gal goes to a bar, and women avoid them, only men talk to them.

You gotta get out there. It's this wierd [Major City] culture, I think, that I don't have a single friend (married or otherwise) who will go out on a weekend night (forget weekdays!). [Longtime Friend Who Counsels War Veterans] agrees, it's part of the culture here to stay at home. But, if I'm out there meeting 30 somethings when I'm just out to get out of the house for a couple of hours and listen to some music, there's certainly plenty of potential for you.



Is it me, or is this message all about meeting men? It seems well-intentioned, but I wish she didn't have this idea in her head that my life needs fixing b/c it's not what she'd do if she were 30 again. I'm busy with work and school. I'm seeing someone sort of seriously. (Admittedly, I haven't really told my family other than my mom and my sister.) My free time will change once I move and start the next quarter with two classes instead of three. It's stressful at times but I like my life. Sure, I'd like more friends but the few close ones I have, I wouldn't trade for anything--and in time more will come. I'm kind of "over" the loud bar scene, too.

Can I just reply, "Thank you," period?

7 comments:

Ashley said...

You're right, it is all about meeting men. (Why oh why does family feel the need to pressure!?)

Just say, "Wow! Sounds like you had quite the weekend."

Unsolicited advice SUCKS, especially from 50 year old women.

I'm with you - the bar isn't the best place to hang out. You are blessed to be happy with your life and you shouldn't have to feel like you need to justify your decisions. :) Just dismiss her well meaning advice and move along!

(What are you going to school for?)

Mr. Bingley said...

Gawd, I've hated loud bars since college.

Catherine said...

I have a feeling this is less personal (about you) and more nostalgic (about M.A.) than you think. I think you are coming to M.A.'s mind as handy real-life receptacle for a game of 'what would I tell my younger self if I could go back in time?'

Catherine said...

Me again. So I might say something in response that included the name of the guy you're seeing (as a reminder). I'd say be brief, but cheerful and polite, not curt, not too too brief. Include some kind of appreciation that she cares about you, even if she is overstepping her bounds a bit. That is sort of classic for an M.A. anyway, don't you think? Just smile and let her be, up until a point where she is certifiably meddling.

nightfly said...

Is she trying to goad you into competing with her for the same guy? I mean, I don't know your aunt and I don't want to presume anything unsavory - really, I'm sorry this even crossed my mind - but I'm getting the yips out here.

Kate P said...

Wow, look at all these thoughtful comments!!!

Ashley--Glad you came over! Unsolicited *is* the operative word. (I'm finishing up my third-to-last quarter for a Masters in Information & Library Science with a specialization in school media. School librarian! Check out my posts labeled "skool.")

Bingley--Between the loud noise and rude men thinking they can come up to me while I'm dancing and put their hands anywhere on my body, it's just not the kind of experience I enjoy.

Catherine--Welcome! I think you're right in that there's some sort of vicarious thing going on. The thing is, she does not know that I am seeing anyone right now. Only my mom and my sister (and I guess my dad if my mom told him) know. I've been keeping it under wraps for a few reasons (nothing terrible, just complicated). I suspect she gets wound up when *her* man is not available enough for her.

'Fly--I just learned this week what "the yips" are thanks to "How I Met Your Mother." Yikes. It may not go that far, but I do think she would enjoy the power and control she would have, having been his friend first. And when it comes to her strong, neurotic personality, the man in my life must be on my side.
She truly is the one person I have always feared turning into, especially if I stay a maiden aunt. And I don't want to feel desperate to marry like that.

Mr. Bingley said...

I thought "the yips" is why I can't make a 3 foot putt?