Banned Phrases

Yet another well-intentioned (read: PUSHY) e-mail from my maiden aunt. There's a link to a "Professional/Business Singles Network" or something like that, with her commentary underneath:

Wanna go to Y_______ on Monday night? Get
yourself out there, [childhood nickname only family permitted to use]. I
love the food there, anyway!

That second sentence pisses me off. Sorry, but there's no other way to describe how it makes me feel. I hear it a lot, especially from her. How much would I love to tell her that just because she doesn't see me dating doesn't mean I'm not "out there"? I went on a number of dates in the past year, only I didn't mention a single detail to her because I did not want to be interrogated (because that's what she does, interrogate and give unsolicited advice). And the more jerks I've met, including being somewhat stalked recently, the less I've wanted to be "out there." Besides, I've been doing other things, like, I don't know, doing a lot of schoolwork and working a full time job, and working on my novels and setting up a new home. Things I want to do. She doesn't see or understand any of this. It's a no-win situation.

When I followed the link it said that the demographic was "late 30s, 40s, and 50s." Granted I do tend to hang out with people either significantly younger or older than I am, but I'm a little fearful of the real proportions that show up at their events. She's a young-looking 50 and extremely outgoing so it's no issue for her. And spending an evening with her is entirely unappealing, anyway, but I can't tell her that. I can't tell her anything. So I gritted my teeth and typed "Sorry I missed it because I wasn't checking e-mail while on vacation." That's right, dearest aunt, I was on vacation and did some stuff I liked. Maybe it wasn't up to your standards but I had a good time and I'm sorry it's ending tonight.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of "it'll happen when it's supposed to happen" that the "get yourself out there" phrase really bugs me. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard it in the past three years, I probably would've been vacationing farther away than NJ. I think I'd rather have a pity afghan or two for my trouble.*

Anybody else have a phrase or two that should be banned? The word must be spread.

*WordGirl gets the credit for the pity afghan concept but darned if I can find the reference entry where she used to blog!


Anonymous said…
"So when are you getting married?" Usually uttered at bridal showers,weddings, baby showers, conversations about weddings or babies, ect but also often in between talk about the presidential election. I am about to say something like "A week from Tuesday."
I get the "Get your self out there." comment too. It doesn't bother me much except when from my "free spirited" aunt. What this really means is that because I commute to school I am a shut in that will never be "a real college student" and somehow therefore never get married and be "normal".
Glad you had a good vacation!
Brobdingnagian said…
In my years as a single guy, I never once got hit over the head with it. No "get yourself out there", no jokes about clocks ticking, etc etc.

I really feel sorry for all the single ladies who have to put up with this from their own family.

Just now the song "Don't you know, it's different for Girls" has come into my head, and won't leave.


Ashley said…
I'm sick of being told how young I look. Honestly, I want to be taken seriously, not patronized because I look so young. I HATE IT.

Also? The constant questioning - first about where you're going to college, what you're going to do after college, if you're engaged yet, when are you having kids?

nightfly said…
brob - Joe Jackson. Nice.

How about we ban "finding myself"? Too often used to excuse complete laziness. Here's an idea - if you wish to find yourself, get off the couch and start looking, hm? You're not going to find yourself on World of Warcraft.
Dave E. said…
AC22-Or the dreaded variation on "So when are you getting married?"..."How come you're not/you've never married?" Like you can answer that question in any easy or dignified way in the setting where it's usually asked.
Radish said…
I could have done without "how'd you let your little sisters get married first?" Like I have some sort of control over other people's lives--if I did, I'd control some man into wanting me.

The "good" news is they all gave me up for dead when I turned 30, so no more questions. Or anything else. *srednop*

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