This Week's Friday Five

Five Words That Really Got to Me This Week:

1. Closed. As in closed course.

2. Ma'am. North of the Mason-Dixon, you just don't say that to a woman who can pass for 25. I got ma'amed twice this week. Although I'll cut the first guy some slack because I think he was an auditor in our office and might have been an actual Southerner.

3. Self-evaluation. Especially considering it didn't mean what the person using it thought it did. In any event, it means more work for me on something that boils down to the "37 pieces of flair" baloney Joanna got in Office Space.

4. Bluhbluhbluh. Or whatever the heck my idiot neighbors were going on and on about in Hindi or Sanskrit at 1 a.m. in the bedroom directly under mine.

5. Shaper. Don't read Eva by Peter Dickinson unless you're a moody teenager from the late '80s who is a sucker for emo causes like animal testing and saving the rainforest. (Wait a minute--I was.) I am in young adult reading material hell. This novel is set in the "future" and it took me five chapters to understand that "shaper" is the future equivalent of TV. I think.

And yet when Eva's scientist father appears on the "shaper" for an interview, Eva (whose brain has been transplanted into a chimp's body--ew!) "tapes" the program for him. Tapes? Even last year people were making fun of me for still using a VCR!

I'm off to spend the rest of the week trying to avoid these words.


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