Weird Fallout

Today I went into work with the awareness that most likely at some point during the day they were going to tell my department that I was leaving. It did happen, in the afternoon. It was a bit of a relief that Princess Shortcut was not in today, and the co-worker with whom I am fairly close decided to take the afternoon off. I called her after dinner. She took it much better hearing it from me, one-on-one, and not from the department VP along with everybody else. As a matter of fact, she told me she'd thought I was overqualified for being at the company right from the beginning, so she was glad I was moving on.

Naturally, everybody else in the department was surprised. And confused. The overall response was that they thought I was leaving to start pursuing my degree. No, I clarified, I've been going to school full-time for the past two years. While working full time. GASP!

They said they'd be hiring somebody to replace me, but they'd be working out what to do in the interim. I'm pretty sure they are contemplating discontinuance of the program I currently maintain. This morning my boss asked me if I could generate back-up versions of all the sets of pre-negotiated language for our tenants and store them on our server, and I'm wondering why, when we can call up any one set, at any time. At least two other people in the department know how to do it using the program. I told him there would be a storage issue, as there are over 250 sets. Each set averages around 600 KB, so 250 times that? And the time it takes to generate and save them and move them where he wants? Ugh. I said I'd check with the I.T. department about that and get back to him.

Of course, I knew I couldn't get to my car at the end of the day, unscathed. Princess Shortcut's protege', El Slackerino, was right behind me as I walked out at 5, and after he offered me a handshake he launched into his monologue. . .

"[Kate P], I just wanted to say I wish you the best-"

(Well, that sounds O.K., thanks; can I go before you get weird and/or make this all about you?)

"-I mean, I'm sorry our friendship didn't really develop--you know, for two people who like, believe in God, and follow God, you'd think it wouldn't be that hard. . ."

(Uh huh, yeah, now it's weird. Why am I the only one who makes you feel compelled to bring up God, and in this way? I'm pretty sure you're gonna get hit by lightning. Can I go?)

". . . and, um, I'm gonna pray that God, you know, guides you on the right path--you know, to where you should go."

(Dude, I'm pretty sure I'm on the right path, but thanks for the prayers. Oh, wait, I get it--I'm supposed to be grateful to you. You think I'm leaving because I'm troubled or something, and couldn't hack it working here and being friends with you. Thanks for clearing that up. I thought it was because I had started to plan a career change before you were even hired, but now I see it had everything to do with you. And, apparently, God. BTW--lightning. Gotta go.)

So then he's starting to repeat himself--honestly, the man can not come to a stop while prattling off the baloney--and did I mention he's wearing his mirrored sunglasses the entire time he's been talking at me? I can't tell if he's being sincere at all. Heck, I can't even tell if he's looking directly at me.

And I don't care! I want to go home and cook my eggplant, O.K.? Finally, he accepted one of my repeated "thank you" attempts and let me get in my car.

I wonder how quickly after that he got Princess Shortcut on speed dial. Cannot wait for her to darken my office door with a high pitched, "Ooooh, you're leeeaaaaving?" in the morning.

Maybe I can tell her I'm too busy saving 250 sets of language to the server to talk.