Work = Whatever.

The "brain drain" (on the Training Train) continues at work, although I'm facing it with a brighter perspective than I was last week. I realized that no matter how well I train them, things are going to be said about me after my departure. "She didn't show us that," "Nobody said we had to do that," etc. Not to mention the continuing demonstration of bad attitude from a longtimer who basically isn't interested in learning more than the minimum, and doesn't really care if she does it right at all, because, in her words, "It's something I don't expect to be asked to do very often, because it's not my job, and if they want me to do it, they're going to give me what I need to do it." Really, the "it's not my job" cliche'? I just expected something a little less predictable than that. Speaking of predictable, someone else in the department called in sick today--after telling someone outside of the department on Friday that she would be calling in sick because she was annoyed with our boss. What is with all this unprofessional, passive-aggressive stuff? How's that working for you? And people wonder why they can't advance in the company. Try growing up and proving you can handle greater responsibility.

In any event, it doesn't matter what they're going to say about me. I know I did my best. No one in the department could compare with my commitment, my work ethic, and my quality of work product--and they know it. They are terrified the same will be expected of them. (Too bad they don't understand that if they all worked together, took pride in their work, and had a little friggin' confidence, it would be fine.)

What changed my perspective? A few things. Saturday, I went to confession at the nearby church where I'd been going to Mass during the summer because my church was closed, on the weekends I wasn't singing at the other (farther away) parish where I help out. Hanna was dumping tons of rain on the area, but I decided to go anyway. I parked on the street; for Sunday Mass, I usually parked in the lot of the bank across the street. When I got back in the car after confession, I looked up and alongside the building there was a statue and a plaque with a quote from St. Vincent de Paul:

Place all your confidence in God and God will protect
you in a special way at all times. Then you need not worry about what
others say of you or do to you, because it will all turn out to your
advantage. Divine providence never fails in matters undertaken for His
love.

I wrote it down so I would remember it. (Bet you didn't know I just ran out to the car to retrieve it! It was scrawled on the back of the fax I was trying to send to the school district Saturday morning. I am grateful I live in a safe place where I can go out to the car late at night.)

Also, because my stomach has been in knots since my boss was sharp with me Thursday morning, I pulled out my reflexology book and on my way to reading about that, I came across a section on stress. It described my situation and my feelings so well, I was in tears by the end of the second paragraph. Somehow, I needed that more than I'd realized. I did give myself a little reflexology treatment on my hands before I went to sleep, and I think it did me some good as well.

Right now, I'm just trying to keep things light and not mind the crabbiness flung my way at work. It's not my problem; it's definitely theirs. I'm simultaneously excited and scared about starting school. . . and trying to figure out why I'm starting next week when classes don't begin until the week after that, but that's another story for another time.

I've even made peace with not having anything special planned after my last day on Friday. I had thought about inviting people over, but time got away from me while I was dealing with viruses (virii?) and lost paperwork. And I'm just too worn out from work to host anything. Besides, I didn't get my new curtain rod (in pewter, purchased while on vacation in NJ in July) up over the patio door yet--professional help is coming tomorrow. (Lord, I need somebody handy in my life. Dad has many talents, but as evidenced by the current falling-down rod in place, he's no Mr. Fix It.) My sister's coming with her roommate for the weekend and we're going to the ballgame Saturday. That's enough celebration for me. Although the home team could add to my happiness by winning. I don't think that's too much to ask.