I'm Going to Admit It
I entered the school media specialist program with the idea of becoming an elementary school librarian. Whenever I had observations or analyses to do for my courses, I came to the library where I'm currently student teaching. Now that I'm there every day, and doing student teaching--not to mention coming in with an intensive six weeks of experience--I'm seeing things from a completely different perspective.
I feel a bit stifled by the fixed schedule. I am really frustrated with how much time I spend managing students' behavior. I resent being told afterwards that there are two, three, four special needs students in the class, and I'm not sure how I feel about the way these students are integrated (or attempted to be) with the general grade levels. Very often I come home with a headache--which could be from stress in general and may or may not be aggravated by the building and the commute, but still. . .
I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that most likely a higher academic level suits me better as a teacher-librarian.
And you know what? That feels O.K. More than O.K., actually. It's kind of a relief to find where I fit in.
I just hope there's a job out there for me.
I feel a bit stifled by the fixed schedule. I am really frustrated with how much time I spend managing students' behavior. I resent being told afterwards that there are two, three, four special needs students in the class, and I'm not sure how I feel about the way these students are integrated (or attempted to be) with the general grade levels. Very often I come home with a headache--which could be from stress in general and may or may not be aggravated by the building and the commute, but still. . .
I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that most likely a higher academic level suits me better as a teacher-librarian.
And you know what? That feels O.K. More than O.K., actually. It's kind of a relief to find where I fit in.
I just hope there's a job out there for me.
Comments
You know, I feel sort of the same way. when i have to help out by subbing in a lower grade class in CCD (k-5) I feel like it's a bit like babysitting, not teaching. It's a gift that certian popele have, dealing with young ones, and others have a gift for teens and pre-teens.
It's good that you've realized before you got a job in an ES that it's not really where you want to be. Good thing you get the field experience, eh?