Acceptance
Well, as CCR put it in the last post, it's nice to be wanted somewhere.
It was hard to have a good time over the long weekend because I had a lot on my mind--in fact, I dropped a tray of brownies as I was walking in the door at my cousin's picnic on Sunday and nearly broke down in tears--but I thought about it, asked a few friends and relatives in the education field, prayed about it Saturday night at the vigil Mass I was cantoring, thought some more.
It's not a lot of money. I didn't make a lot of money from the time I quit my job to student teach through Fall of last year, though, and I got by. Plus, it eventually got better.
My parents told me they wouldn't let me starve or lose my apartment. (My dad might get me or both of us killed if I ever ride in the car with him again, but that's another concern for another day.)
I finally stopped beating myself up for being completely unable to make tons of cash in spite of my degree and talent. There are factors and circumstances beyond my control that are limiting me at this time.
Am I still a bit sad that I can't save for a nicer place to live? Yeah. Am I disappointed that there won't be any big travel plans for a while? Absolutely. Am I going to have to work hard at not worrying my car will blow another cylinder the minute the warranty on the previous resurrective work expires? Totally, and possibly necessitating the occasional use of alcohol (but obviously not when I'm behind the wheel).
But I have to admit that a little part of me is excited about the new job. And it made me feel good that the principal sounded thrilled today to hear me say I'd take the job.
So.
YAY.
It was hard to have a good time over the long weekend because I had a lot on my mind--in fact, I dropped a tray of brownies as I was walking in the door at my cousin's picnic on Sunday and nearly broke down in tears--but I thought about it, asked a few friends and relatives in the education field, prayed about it Saturday night at the vigil Mass I was cantoring, thought some more.
It's not a lot of money. I didn't make a lot of money from the time I quit my job to student teach through Fall of last year, though, and I got by. Plus, it eventually got better.
My parents told me they wouldn't let me starve or lose my apartment. (My dad might get me or both of us killed if I ever ride in the car with him again, but that's another concern for another day.)
I finally stopped beating myself up for being completely unable to make tons of cash in spite of my degree and talent. There are factors and circumstances beyond my control that are limiting me at this time.
Am I still a bit sad that I can't save for a nicer place to live? Yeah. Am I disappointed that there won't be any big travel plans for a while? Absolutely. Am I going to have to work hard at not worrying my car will blow another cylinder the minute the warranty on the previous resurrective work expires? Totally, and possibly necessitating the occasional use of alcohol (but obviously not when I'm behind the wheel).
But I have to admit that a little part of me is excited about the new job. And it made me feel good that the principal sounded thrilled today to hear me say I'd take the job.
So.
YAY.
Comments
The pay isn't what you want, but it's a start and who knows where things will go from there. I'm glad that your family is there to help you through what might be a lean time or two in the short term. You'll get through those just fine and before you know it you'll be where you want to be.
xoxo