The "New and Improved!" Meme

I'm taking a few minutes of downtime before I go water plants for my mentor-of-sorts. The clouds seemed to have started lifting a bit yesterday, so thanks for your well wishes. I've got more anxiety-inducing stuff to deal with, but one day at a time.

WordGirl wrote this one--go here for the original blank one, with video--and it's a doozy. If I didn't know better I'd suspect she's writing a psychological observation paper on us or something. But ignorance is bliss, and so is this fun meme--my answers and commentary in bold.

1) The correct ratio of milk to cereal is:
a) 1 to 1 -- with exactly the same amount of milk and cereal left at the end of the bowl
b) 2 to 1 -- with a puddle of cereal-flavored milk left to slurp at the end of the bowl
c) [blank stare]
d) 1.5 to 1 in favor of cereal. In the pre-milk-allergy days, it was 1.5 to 1 in favor of milk. Haven’t quite warmed up to drinking leftover almond milk yet.

2) Bread crumbs in the butter is:
a) nasty
b) normal (and it’s toast or Wasa crackers)

3) Correct toilet paper installation requires that the paper emerge from the roll:
a) over the top -- it's more convenient (small hands, poor eyesight, esp. at 2 a.m.)
b) underneath -- it looks tidier when not in use
c) whichever way it can get to your posterior and/or naughty bits to do the job

4) Is the following an actual DeForest Kelly line? "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an escalator!"
a) Yes
b) No
c) I think I've seen a total of one-half of a Star Trek episode, so. . . I'll take a zero, please, ma'am.

5) The best name for a dog is:

a) Bruiser
b) Neville
c) Foxy Brown
d) Kevin
e) I’d have to meet the dog first.

6) Stick shift or automatic?
a) Manual baby!
b) Automatic, all the way. (For driving in the ‘burbs, anyway.)

7) Michael Bolton is:
a) awesome
b) a hack (I believe the actual line is “no-talent a** clown”)
c) going to have to work on Saturday because his TPS reports are incorrect

8) You have ridden public transit in your home town:

a) a couple of times to avoid paying for parking when you party (go to doctor, same thing)
b) never -- that's why you have a car
c) almost every day since you've had a choice

9) Foods touching each other on your plate is:
b) irrelevant (Get over it, French people.)
c) Plate? You typically eat from something Styrofoam/paper that has a lid or handle

10) You read ____ books per month:
a) 0
b) 1-2
c) 3-4 (Needs little explanation, right?)

11) Pancakes or waffles should:
a) be swimming in syrup -- you like it sweet and sloppy
b) be barely kissed by syrup -- you like it subtle and nuanced
c) naked -- you're a purist
d) be slathered in butter and grape jelly
(Anybody else need a cold shower right about now? Just me? O.K.)

12) You have ____ close friends (with whom you regularly visit/chat) of differing ethnicity:
a) 0
b) 1-2
c) more than 3
d) define "close." I work in the most diverse department in my entire office.

13) "Intelligent alien life has visited and is now visiting our planet," is:
a) true
b) false
c) too scary to think about.

14) Your favorite ice cream flavor is:
a) chocolate
b) vanilla
c) other
d) You can't eat ice cream
(Does soy ice cream count? If so, my current favorite is cherry chocolate chip.)

15) Popcorn-flavored jelly beans are:
a) yummy
b) gross (not to mention a crime against nature)

16) Camping out in the summertime sounds:
a) awesome! Where's the tent?
b) disgusting! Can't we just hike and then check in to a B&B?
c) like dredging up the memories of too many camping trips from hell with my cousins.

17) At a weekend dinner party with close friends, you typically consume ___ alcoholic drinks:
a) 0
b) 1-2 -- it doesn't take much for you to get your buzz on and then you're set (I like staying in control of my faculties)
c) 3-4 -- you like to have fun but you chill out for awhile until you're ready to drive home
d) more than 4 -- you like to get your party on!

18) At a drive-through burger joint, you order:
a) a combo meal -- sandwich with fries and a drink
b) just a sandwich and a drink
c) an entree salad with a drink
d) a side item with a calorie-free beverage
e) (a) or (c) alternately

19) Kissing your sweetheart is:
a) essential -- it's one of the best parts about being in a relationship
b) overrated -- you can take it or leave it
c) something you miss
d) both (a) and (c)

20) You have been convicted of a capital crime (unjustly of course) and the guard has come to take your order for your last meal. You can have anything you want. What do you order?

Oh, heck, screw the allergies—give me a pan of tiramisu and a pot of coffee. And a soundproof room so no one can hear our joyous reunion.


WordGirl said…
OMG, I am literally giggling. "go to the dotctor, same thing." I'm imagining that line is followed by a huge SIIIIIIGH, like, "Yeah, yeah, I go to the doctor a hundred-twenty times a year, next question." And the idea of tiramisu earmuffs are a riot!
Kate P said…
Actually, before I got all the allergy/weight stuff sorted out, I *was* heading downtown a lot to see doctors--and after dealing with them, it was probably a good thing I didn't have to drive.
As for the tiramisu--nobody should have to be subjected to my moans of pleasure; that's cruel and unusual punishment ;)

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