Meme: someecards!

Have you seen the cards at someecards.com? Ashley did a meme (and I don't know how she did it when her little apartment has no internet service!) and I'm gonna try it. The idea is to pick five cards from the site that describe yourself in “amazingly unflattering ways.” Let's see what I can come up with. . .

1. Why yes, I am the grammar police and I will not shut up about it. I've gone head-to-head with my boss over the whole apostrophe thing. . . and lost. So, I'm sorry if your lease says "twenty (20) days notice." Blame the guy with the J.D., all right?

2. I have a hard time sitting through seventeen minute videos on my little laptop screen while tinny sound is piddling from the speakers. Also, I refuse to read any forwards unless they contain coupons. For makeup or clothes.

3. Even a hint of possibly being passed over for something makes me feel bad. Is that part of middle child syndrome?

4. When you work with people who disappear for half an hour at a time, cell phone barely concealed, and who sneak out early every day your boss is on vacation, you need to blow off some steam.

5. Speaking of work, I do not like meetings at all. None of my previous jobs had them, and when I joined my current company I found out there was a staff meeting every week. Ugh. The frequency has dropped down to every other week now, but meetings are still torture. And last time around I honestly thought I was going to get written up for being a racist. Here's what happened: the meeting was about to end when what does Princess Shortcut do but start going on and on about the (fairly) new haircut our boss had. Honestly, I'm sorry you love saying inappropriate things and want the meeting to go on forever so you don't have to go back to, you know, work--but it was the day before my great-uncle's viewing and of course I was handed a rush deal because I can take care of it and you still can't, after two years. I was ready to get back to my desk and get hustling. Then Mr. Chatty chimes in, because his racially-affiliated buddy is talking and he wants some attention and to get in some ass-kissing, too, and fumbles around about how the haircut is "uh, very GQ."

At that point the bile rose in my throat and it just slipped out: "Say, what's that sucking sound? It's kind of windy in here!" Everybody in the meeting laughed. Everyone, of course, except for Mr. Chatty. Who does his fair share of teasing and often takes it from male co-workers and of course his buddy.

About an hour after the meeting (because that is the standard length of post-meeting playtime to ease back into work for these jokers), the admin for my boss rings me to tell me that Mr. Chatty just went in to the boss and shut the door behind him--and also to tell me she was still laughing about what I'd said. I was waiting for a call from either the boss or HR for the next half-hour or so, but it never came.

Hopefully, the boss told Mr. Chatty not to dish it out if he can't take it. Heh. But for pete's sake can we please keep these meetings on track and mercifully brief?